Friday, October 2, 2009

The Four Universal Relationships

During my early days of Dharma learning,
it was fun, exciting but also difficult.
It was difficult because
I had become more mindful,
but so mindful that
I had a lot of worries over whatever I plan to do
and frustration upon whatever I have already done.

However, I later read a book by Venerable Chin Kung,
in which I was educated on the Four Universal Relationships.
Since then, I began to drop those unnecessary worries
and learnt to accept unexpected events in calmer tone.

Venerable Chin Kung pointed out that
all relationships in this world
could be boiled down to only 4 types.

These 4 types of relationship explains
how this world functions in a simplistic yet philosophical manner.
By imprinting these 4 types of relationship clearly in mind,
a lot of worries and frustration will be gone,
-- that's how this buddhist teaching
helped me put down a lot of psychological burden
and move forward bravely in life.

These 4 types of universal relationships are:
1) Relationship of repaying kindness (报恩)
2) Relationship of revenging (报怨)
3) Relationship of repaying debt (还债)
4) Relationship of collecting debt (讨债)

If we ever worry/frustrate about whatever we do in life,
visualise that there are only 2 possible outcomes:
either  CAT1: repaying kindness/debt to other people
or       CAT2: revenging on/collecting debt from other people.

If it's CAT1, we probably owe people kindness/debt in the past,
then it's a good thing to repay the kindness/debt, the sooner the better.

If it's CAT2: people probably owed us a lot in the past,
then there is nothing to worry about,
but we should learn to be more forgiving when people are repaying us.

For example, say someone is pondering at a fruit stall
whether to buy an apple, worrying the apple may not be fresh and sweet.
To solve the worry, one may consider the 2 possible categories of outcome:

- If the apple turns out to be fresh and sweet,
then it's the grocer repaying one kindness/debt
(happy ending) --CAT2

- If the apple turns out to be rotten and sour,
then it's the one repaying the grocer
(not-so-desireable-but-good-to-repay-quickly happy ending) --CAT1.

After understanding the 4 relationships in depth,
we'll never have to worry/frustrate over decisions we make in life;
because, either CAT1 or CAT2 outcome, it's a good thing.

All that we should be concerned now is
whether we are farming enough good merits to repay
the debts that we stole/borrow from people or
the kindness that we accepted from people in the past :)

Well regards,
Kee Yew

{Learning Holistic Wellness for Wisdom and Compassion}

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